he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
