P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
