I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
