put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
