i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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