i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
