I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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