is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
