My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
