We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
