Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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