i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
People in love make me want to vomit
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
