just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
