I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Farmville is her only friend.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
