in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
