do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
