He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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