I think i peed on brittanys purse
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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