Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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