i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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