I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
