I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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