i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
