I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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