i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
