He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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