why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
