did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
