i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
