I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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