You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
