I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and she was petting her beer can
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
