never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
