508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ttyl tear gas
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
