i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
