I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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