What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I want her autograph on my taint
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
