i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
