he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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