i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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