i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
