hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
