So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
