I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
