Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My balls are so social today.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I love you.
Bad choice
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
