Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
