thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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