If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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