I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
