Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You made out with two different species that night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
