You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
