you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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